INTRODUCING THE MOST IMMACULATE OBJECT EVER CREATED.

The iPad is "thin" and therefore, "beautiful?"

The first few seconds of these new iPad commercials are enough to make a girl wanna manually puke up her din din. Apple will get away with these ads, mainly because they are Apple, and also a little bit because they are portraying an inanimate object in this sense, not a human being. But it also exhibits human beings LOVING this inanimate object. Loving its thinness and following that, its beauty. Loving its ability to do countless chores for you all day long....

"Hey iPad, why don't you hook me up with some sheet music so I can practice playing my dumb piano so I can impress my friends not only with my new Apple product, but also with my piano skills". Or "Hey iPad, I'm lost, because I have no navigational instinct whatsoever. Get me to where I'm supposed to be, OK?"

SIDENOTE: Having no navigational skill whatsoever is a mortal sin in my book. Or should I say a sin in my iPad? JK, I don't have an iPad.

...loving its "magic" and "power." LOVING IT CAUSE ITS GREAT IN BED, AMIRITE? Literally, though, going back to its flawless figure, the iPad is small enough so that you can just cozy up in bed with it, and read the book that its algorithms recommended for you.

So, it's not only enough to make a girl purposely vom up her Boca burg, but also enough to make a girl wonder, "Maybe if I was like that, people would love me." And anything that makes a girl wonder something like that is HORRIBLE AND SHOULD NOT EXIST.

Oh yeah, and on top of all that good stuff, it:
DOESN'T.
TALK.
BACK.

It just does what you demand it to do, without hesitation. "OMG WISH MY GIRLFRIEND/WIFE WAS LIKE THAT"

It's almost like the wording of this commercial suggests that real woman are not even necessary anymore. It's like "They fought back when we wanted them to look a certain way... they fought back when we wanted them to do our laundry and cook us food... it's not even worth the struggle anymore. Let's create a new kind of woman. One that never chimes in with her personal thoughts and opinions. One that only listens and follows orders."

I mean, I know that replacing Woman probably was not their motive. It would actually be really silly to claim that Apple is actually trying to create a new species called the iPad. But, especially since the release of this commercial, Apple is certainly not alone as a that strives for "perfect" consumers to buy their "perfect" products.

TO SUM UP MY BEEF WITH THIS COMMERCIAL:
Yet again, another company sells us the whole "thin is beautiful" thing. But, not only THAT, the voice of the ad keeps going on and on and on about the countless perfections the iPad has. AND NOT ONLY THAT, it eerily sounds like he could just as easily be talking about a woman. Just replace a couple words.